Why you should eat the cake! A cautionary lesson from Demi Lovato

My heart was broken after watching the recent interview of Demi Lovato on the Ellen DeGeneres show. Demi Lovato is an amazing singer and songwriter who opened up about her struggles with an eating disorder and how the last six years of recovery has been actually slow relapse.

The part of the interview that struck me the most was her experience with her birthday cake. Over the last six years instead of having a legit birthday cake her management team would give her a watermelon disguised as a cake with low fat Cool Whip cream. To me that’s like a Pinterest worthy disguise of disordered eating and a toxic environment for someone undergoing recovery with an eating disorder. This is something I want to talk about because a lot of time disordered eating is covered up by “healthy eating”.

Unfortunately, we live in a society that’s so obsessed with health that it’s easy to slip into disordered eating behaviors and go completely unnoticed as someone that is so healthy.

Well there’s nothing wrong with having watermelon cake if that is what you prefer, the real problem is when you never allow yourself to have foods you want without feeling guilty. Doing so can lead to a severe cycle of avoidance of unhealthy food or secretly eating/binging on “unhealthy” food when you are alone. This leads to more shame and guilt which can cause over exercising/ under eating, and substance abuse to compensate and the cycle continues

In the interview, Ellen also acknowledged that management would hide all forms of sugar and carbs including fruit from Demi so she wouldn’t be able to eat them. I mean sugar is evil right? …. NO but hiding all forms of sugar is evil in my opinion. Carbs are our main source of energy and we will naturally crave them to survive. You are not BAD, you are human. If you find yourself avoiding parties or activities you would normally like because you are scared there won’t be enough healthy options or are worried you won’t be able to control yourself you should try to take a step back and think is this behavior really healthy? Is this isolation really helping you achieve your goals/ making your life better? There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be healthy but when you don’t allow yourself to have treats on occasion it’s a slippery slope to disordered eating while being masked by being healthy. You cannot live in a bubble and expect yourself to be truly healthy.

Unrealistic healthy eating standards from society, family and friends can be hardest to overcome. It’s OK to tell friends and family that you want legit cake on your birthday even if you're trying to lose weight, run a marathon, be a vegan, whatever it is. As a Dietitian, I get it all the time. People have made comments such as "your a Dietitian and you eat cake?" People need to realize It is not helpful to talk about someone’s food and say things like “don’t you know that’s not healthy?”.... Actually your comments aren’t healthy... Karen .

I’m not saying to have cake every day but I think if you find yourself being very obsessed with healthy eating it’s very important act of self-care to allow yourself to have some “treat’’ foods. In fact, it is an important step in recovery for eating disorders and disordered eating.

Here are my top reasons why you should have the cake...

1. It’s practicing self-care- Self-care isn’t being perfect all the time. Actually, it is the exact opposite, its allowing yourself to take time for self-compassion activities.

2. It can help prevent guilt associated with food– if you give yourself permission to have cake and move on it can decrease stress associated with the food and let you get back to the birthday party festivities.

3. It can help prevent binge eating- How many times do we not take that piece of cake at the party and then go home and eat a container of ice cream. If you want the cake have some and move on. If Karen gives you a glare…. F*&% her. You are not going to internalize her hate. Guilt association with food can lead to isolation and binge eating and we don’t want that.

If you or anyone you know is suffering from an eating disorder or disordered eating please speak out to a trusted friend, family member, Dietitian, or health care professional that isn’t consumed by diet culture. I think sometimes people feel they need to have a severe eating disorder to get help but the longer you wait the harder it will get. If you feel you’re going down that slippery slope of either being too obsessed with healthy foods or feeling guilty for not eating healthy sometimes it’s good just to talk it out and switch your mindset before it gets further along. It is honestly harder now than ever because of our society standards of “health”. Just remember you set your own standards and you deserve a piece a cake on your birthday!